Agony's Wish
by dragonheart3
Summary: What do you do if you cannot escape yourself? Life is hell. Various one shots that revolve around Allen and the fourteenth. Different pairing, stories have nothing to do with eachother.
1. Agony's Wish

**Tada! I'm back at fanfiction! I have a whole new addiction and obviously its called man! I love allen~3**

**Anyways, before you shoot me, I just want to say that:**

**NO I haven't finished the anime/manga. And I intend to. So don't shoot me if my fanfic doesn't add up to the actual storyline! And before anyone accuses, I know Allen is the 14****th**** blah blah blah, my friend already ruined that for me. So whatever. Enjoy the story. **

**The plan was to make this story **_**intense.**_** Tell me if it works kay?**

**Soft lavi/allen. **

_**~Allen~ **_

Allen jerked up in his bed. He was sweating, and his breathing was uneven. His whole body seemed to be on fire; everything was hurting, and he didn't know what to do about it. A surge of pain shot through him body again, and Allen stifled a scream of agony. It was the dead of night, he didn't want to wake anybody up at this hour.

Moonlight poured onto his bed, wrapping itself around Allen's body. Normally the moonlight calmed Allen, but it only seemed to triggered more pain. "Argh!" Allen groaned. He grabbed his arms, almost hugging himself, but then the searing pain in his head became unbearable. When he grabbed his head, his legs and his torso ached in miserable pain. **(AN: I guess this is what you call a vicious cycle, eh?)**

Allen grabbed the chair next to his bed. Slowly he pulled himself out of bed, but when he was almost standing up, he nearly collapsed. He looked out the window miserably.

The sky was dark, and the atmosphere was dead quiet. Allen's breathing seemed to ruin the quiet of the night. He tried to even it out, but a pain shocked him in his lungs, and he cried out. He looked out the window, trying to control himself with the serenity of the outside world. There was a thick layer of white snow on the ground. Almost like a blanket. A blanket of white. A vision of himself laying in the snow contentedly rolled through  
Allen's head. Yes, he would go outside. Outside to the snow. Snow would keep him from insanity and misery of pain.

Allen pulled on his exorcist coat. He didn't know why he put it on; it just made him feel better, almost safe. He stumbled along to the door, and quietly exited. The door closed with a soft click.

Allen walked down the long corridors of the HQ. His legs seemed to betray him; they would not support him. In fact, his whole body was a traitor. Unknown pain, what was wrong with him?! Allen thought his body was stronger than this, but as Kanda once told him, he was weak. Kanda was right.

Allen leaned against the walls and he continued to walk. He couldn't help but think of his promise to Mana. _Keep walking, never stop walking. _He tried to ignore the burning in his legs, and the rest of his body for that matter, by leaning on the cold stone walls as he walked. He reached his first flight of stairs. He managed to stay upright halfway down, but another attacked entered his body, and Allen crumpled down the stairs. He moaned softly. He didn't want to walk. He wanted to lay down on the cool floor. His eyes closed a little from weariness and exhaustion.

No. His goal was snow. He had to get to the snow. Then he could lay there peacefully. As Allen pulled himself up halfheartedly, he couldn't help but fear his next pain attack. _I'm not sure I can get back up again…_ Allen thought to himself.

He struggled down the long hallways, always gripping onto the stone wall. He came across an open window, and he leaned against it, looking at the snow, as if it will give him strength. He felt…peaceful. Almost content. The pain almost seemed to be numbed.

Wrong.

Pain surged through his body yet again, but this one was different. It was stronger, and it seemed to last longer. Losing his last bit of restraint,  
Allen screamed in agony. The scream echoed down the hallway, and Allen collapsed on the floor. He didn't get up.

Slowly, two blood teardrops leaked from Allen's lifeless eyes, staring up at the ceiling.

_**~Lavi~**_

Lavi's eyes shot open. He thought he heard a scream, echoing down the hallway. It almost sounded like Allen. The thought made his blood turn to ice.

Lavi jerked himself out of bed. He pulled on his boots and his exorcist jacket. He placed this hammer in the pocket on the side of his leg, and he ran out the door.

First he ran down to Allen's room. On the way, he couldn't help but wonder how he was the only one to hear the scream. Maybe it was his imagination. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check.

He rapped softly on Allen's door. "Oi. Allen. Allen. You there?" Lavi hissed. He knocked on the door a few more times before the door swung open slowly.

Lavi peered in Allen's room. Messy room, nothing out of the ordinary. The only problem was Allen wasn't there. "Oh no…" Lavi mumbled to himself. His blood seemed to stop flowing in his body.

Lavi ran down the corridors. His footsteps seemed deafening against the quietness. _Why am I the only one who heard the scream?! _Lavi thought angrily to himself. _Allen, where are you?! _

As Lavi descended down a flight of stairs he heard it. A soft moaning, coming from around the corner. A cold chill formed at the bottom of Lavi's spine. He rushed around the corner to find a crumpled Allen on the floor.

"Allen!"

Lavi's voiced yelled softly. It was filled with relief, worry, and…something else. Lavi knelt next to Allen. Allen's eyes were closed, and there was no sound coming from him. As Lavi examined closer, he saw the blood leaking from Allen's eyes.

"Allen. Allen." Lavi's called, getting more urgent each time. He shook Allen softly at first, then it started to get more desperate. "Wake up. Open your eyes!"

Slowly, Allen's eyes opened, and they widened when they saw Lavi kneeling next to him, looking worried. "Ungh." Allen moaned. Then, the unexpected pain rushed through his body again, and Allen sucked in a shocked, pained gasp. He gave a silent scream.

Lavi looked at Allen horrified. "Allen, what's wrong?!" Lavi asked urgently. Allen's body began to tremble, which didn't help Lavi's nerves at all. Allen's hand shot out and gripped Lavi's arm. Lavi flinched from the unexpected grip, and the pain from Allen gripping his arm so tightly. Allen's breathing was shallow and loud.

The moonlight shone on the boys, and Lavi noticed that Allen's skin seemed almost grayish. Allen stared up at Lavi with big scared, painful eyes. They almost seemed golden, if not yellowish. Lavi's soul seemed to shrink. _No, not now…Allen don't…!_

But Allen looked away and turned his head to the ground, and coughed violently. His breathing was strained, almost as if he couldn't get enough air in his lungs.

Lavi seemed to slap himself mentally at that. How could he just sit here and watch Allen suffer?! He picked Allen up and carried him firemen style. One of Allen's arm over Lavi's shoulder, Allen's weight supported by Lavi. "Your pain is hurting me too…" Lavi murmured fiercely to himself.

Allen's hand brushed the side of Lavi's face, and Lavi gasped, startled. Allen's body was on fire. It was hot; definitely unhealthy. Allen moaned, and began to murmur something softly to himself. Lavi distinctly heard something like "it hurts, it hurts, someone save me…"

Lavi's grip tightened.

They didn't even reach the end of the hallway before Allen moaned Lavi's name softly. "Allen?" Lavi asked concerned. They stopped walking. With Allen's free hand, he gripped Lavi's jacket tightly. "Lavi." Allen murmured. He sounded urgent, desperate almost.

"I'm right here Allen. What do you need?" Lavi asked. This whole situation set Lavi's nerves on the edge. He looked down at Allen, into his bright golden yellow eyes. The bright eyes seemed to pierce right into Lavi's soul.

Allen gripped Lavi's coat tighter, if that was even possible. "If I…" Allen whispered, strained. "If I hurt someone….innocent…..you'll…" He looked up into Lavi's eyes fiercely, but also weakly at the same time. "You'll take care of me right?"

Lavi's throat tightened. He couldn't swallow. Lavi looked down, and his hair shadowed over his face. A tear leaked out of one of his eyes. Was this it? Was Allen Walker gone? Had the 14th awakened? He gazed down at Allen. His skin had a grayish tint to it, and his eyes were definitely yellowish. Would Lavi have the guts to kill Allen? Would he have the heart to do it?

For Lavi, timed seemed to have stopped. A flow of memories entered his mind. Memories of himself and his friends at the Order. Fighting together. Allen was his best friend. There was no way he would do it.

"No." Lavi said softly. He gazed down into Allen's desperate face. "No. I'm not losing you again Allen. You're my best friend. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, and to protect everyone else from you. I'm not going to lose you."

Allen looked shocked from Lavi's speech, but his face relaxed and he looked happy. Slowly, Lavi noticed, Allen's eyes turned back to their usual gray, and his skin turned back to normal. Normal tears spilled from Allen's eyes, and he closed them softly. "Thank you." He whispered.

He fell asleep in Lavi's arms, and Lavi stroked Allen's hair contentedly in the hallway.

**So how was that?! **

**I tried to make the story really intense, and adrenaline rushing. A story that makes your heart beat fast and your breathing shallow. Kind of like the feeling you get in an intense horror movie, or a really dramatic scene in a book. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?**

**Please review! Tell me if you liked my story and if it gave you that intense feeling! Review review review! **


	2. Riot

**This fanfic was inspired by the song "Riot" By Three Days Grace. It was supposed to be depressing and angst filled, but since I read a bunch of parodies before writing this, it kinda killed my chi. -.-**

**Ugh my writing felt really choppy in the beginning. I hope you like it anyways. **

**CAUTION: There are a lot of loose ends in this piece. For example, Link isn't here. I didn't feel like explaining why or making something up so just please bear with me. There are a lot of unclear parts that I didn't feel like going over. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man or any of its characters, including Allen…:sigh: **

Three exorcists and two finders entered the Black Order very late at night. They had just arrived through the Ark, thanks to Allen. Allen was the first to step out. Once he was safely on the cold concrete ground, he turned back to watch the entrance of the Ark, waiting for the others. He took this moment to catch up on his breathing, and check for injuries. During the mission, Allen noticed his chest feeling almost constricted. His head wasn't doing too well either, it felt like there was loads of pressure being forced on it.

Kanda stepped out with the familiar scowl on his face and che'd as he walked down the steps. He brushed Allen's shoulder with a bit more force than necessary. Allen glared at him coldly as he regained his balance. Kanda did not look back to see it.

Next, Miranda stepped out of the Ark clumsily. She gave a small yelp as she tripped over her feet. The two finders made a pathetic, but still an attempt, to catch her. She fell into Allen's arms.

"T-Thank you, Allen-kun." Miranda managed to croak. Allen gave her a small smile. If only she could see how forced it was.

Slowly, Miranda straightened herself up, and gave a small "sorry" and she walked passed Allen embarrassedly. The two finders followed closely after. The ark closed silently after them.

As Allen turned around, he saw Komui leaning against a wall, holding a candle for light. Komui greeted everyone softly, receiving a scowl from Kanda, and a thank-you from Miranda and the two finders. He greeted Allen with an especially warm, but tired smile.

"How was the mission?" Komui asked as Allen walked to him.

"It wasn't hard. There were a lot of level three akumas. Easy stuff." Allen replied emotionlessly. Komui seemed to sense this. "Are you tired?" He asked.

A spark of anger flared in Allen. He didn't know why, but he was suddenly angry. He left Komui in long strides, and Komui watched him confusedly. He distinctly heard Allen bark a "yes". Komui, feeling slightly hurt and confused at the sudden rudeness of ever-so-polite Allen, blew out his candle and quietly walked away, dismissing the sudden rudeness as tiredness.

Allen walked through the long corridors of HQ, feeling angrier with every step. He ignored his reflections in the windows and mirrors he passed. He didn't want to see the 14th hovering about him, reminding him that he was never alone. It sickened him that he wasn't alone in his own body, that there was someone else in his consciousness seeing everything through his eyes. He felt so filthy.

Everything in the world seemed to be thrust upon him. He has to deal with all the world's problems and everyone else's. He has Leverrier watching his every move, the Noah slowly taking over his soul, his innocence sucking away at his life, and everyone's pity being thrust upon him. He can't walk anywhere without anyone looking at him with pity or distrust. Never had he ever felt so walked on and used up. He was the world's pawn; his life was meaningless. He was the unlucky fool.

He didn't even know why he was angry at Komui's question. Something just burst inside him, and he truly felt like he was being used. Leverrier only wanted him as a weapon. To kill those who have killed. And it was beginning to feel like everyone else treated him like that too. A machine that is set to work until it breaks down. Then it is quickly replaced after being disposed.

By the time Allen finally reached his room, he felt like breaking something. Deep down he knew it would be a bad idea to slam, or even break the door. But right now he didn't seem to care. He was Allen Walker. Allen walk-on. People just step all over him, knowing he is going to die, but not caring anyways. Send him out to his "mission". If that didn't kill him then the Noah or Innocence will. He felt so let-down by everyone; his friends, the order, Mana…

Remembering Mana seemed to make his heart ache. Instead of slamming his door behind him like he wanted to, he shut it with a soft click. All the anger seemed to drain away, until something in his conscious told him it was Mana's fault that his life was taken up and being slowly used away. It was Mana's fault the 14th was embedded him. It was Mana's fault he had parasitic innocence. It was Mana's fault for loving him. Fury filled his system and he thrust a chair across the room. It shattered into small wooden pieces.

Feeling slightly satisfied that something was broken, and his anger was somehow channeled, he collapsed his bed in a sitting position. He put his face in his hands, and a violent shudder shook him. Silently, he sobbed into his hands.

He didn't know how long he sat like that and sobbed, but by the time he was done, he didn't feel any better. He sat in silence in his room and stared out the window, looking at the moon. His heart ached. He put his right arm over his heart, and clutched it. Everything was painful. Slowly, he fell into his bed, and he was quickly pulled under the dark waters of sleep.

….

_Allen sat in a familiar room. It was the secret room of the ark, with the white piano and the window. He got up from his seat and walked straight to the window, expecting to see the 14__th__'s shadow across from him. _

_Allen felt like a bucket of ice water wash over him when he didn't see the 14__th__. What stunned him was that he saw himself, looking back at him. Only the Allen across from him had gray tinted skin, cold beady gold eyes, and a sickening smile that spread across his face. _

_Allen took a step back from the window, only to see his reflection snicker. Fury flooded Allen veins and he scowled at his appearance. "How unoriginal. Taking my form because you are too weak to create your own?"_

_Reflection Allen smirked. "You appear to be on edge lately. Is something stressing you out?" _

_Allen clenched his fists. "You would know wouldn't you? You see everything I do. I can never be alone because of you."_

_Noah Allen tapped his face and pretended to think hard. "Alone? Who wants to be alone anyways? You don't need other people, Allen. I'm all you'll ever need." When Allen didn't reply, his reflection went on to say, "You and that other exorcist friend of yours are so alike. The tall dark broody one. You both are too ignorant to understand that." _

_Allen narrowed his eyes. "What would you know? You know nothing of friendships and bonds. All you've ever seen was what I've seen." _

"_And isn't that enough? Besides, I did have Mana I've known him like you never have." _

_Allen flinched. This encouraged the 14__th__ to go on. "You are nothing but a pawn, Allen. Pawns are useless. In the game of chess, they are merely the sacrifice for victory. Chess is much like the game of life. You need to know who is in command, the king that you are dying for. Then you ask yourself, is this really worth it? Am I really going to give up my life?_

"_The smart answer is no. Allen, you still have a chance. You have a chance to get away from it all. There is a third side to this war. Only the ones who realize this survive at all. Cross Marian has realized this too, and he has made his exit. Find the one who is pulling all the strings, then kill him."_

_Allen tried to hide the bewildered look on his face. "I am the Destroyer of Time. My duty is to serve as an exorcist. I will not run away like a coward." _

_The 14__th__ leaned in, and his head went through the window. He looked up at Allen coldly. "You are not the prophecy. I am. You. Are. Nothing." He hissed. _

_Allen gritted his teeth and lean forward for a quick jab to the 14__th__'s jaw. Only the 14__th__ was gone. Allen looked around, perplexed. The 14__th__ wasn't in his "room". Faintly, Allen felt a cold breath whisper in his ear, "Let's start a riot." _

_He gasped, and the last thing he saw before he woke up was the 14__th__ waving from behind a cracked window. The 14__th__ smiled and mouthed the word, "Riot." _

…

Allen woke up in a cold sweat. He remembered his dream in vivid detail, and he felt like if he went to the ark right now, he'd be certain he'd see Noah Allen.

He quickly swung his legs out of bed and looked out the window. It wasn't too early in the morning, but late enough that Allen would have company for breakfast. He threw on his exorcist coat and walked out of his room quickly.

Maybe, if he was lucky and early enough, he could eat breakfast and get out without having to chat with anyone he knew. He really didn't want to chat with Lavi or Lenalee right now. He just wanted some time to think alone.

By the time he made it to the cafeteria, he lost most of his appetite thinking about his dream. He was wondering whether he should check the ark, to see if his dream meant anything. He was almost dreading it. When he went up to Jerry, he asked for a cup of tea.

"Is that all, Allen-kun? Are you not feeling well?" Jerry asked concernedly. Allen forced a smile and said, "I'm fine, thank you. That's it." He took his cup of tea and spun around quickly only to crash into someone tall. It was Kanda.

"BAKA!" Kanda yelled. "Your damn fucking clumsiness just spilt tea all over me! Watch where the fuck you're going! Damn moyashi!"

Allen gritted his teeth. He tried to ignore Kanda, and the hushed crowd that was watching them. Just then Lenalee and Lavi walked in.

Great. This was exactly what Allen wanted to avoid. Lenalee was starting to rush inbetween Allen and Kanda, but luckily Lavi held her back. Lavi sensed something was wrong.

"Oi, Yu, what's going on?" Lavi said as he pushed Lenalee behind him. Lenalee began to protest until she saw the look on Kanda's face.

"Baka Usagi I told you not to call me that." Kanda said in a dangerous tone. He turned back to Allen but directed his words elsewhere. "Baka Moyashi here is fucking clumsy enough to spill tea all over me. I ought to slice you to pieces." Kanda directed the last part to Allen.

Allen narrowed his eyes, and the room seemed to hold its breath. Lavi looked between Allen and Kanda, noticing the unusually darker aura hanging around them, particularly Allen.

Allen glared at Kanda for a few moments, then he smirked and laughed, in an un-Allen like way. "You wouldn't. Because you can't. BaKanda is nothing but talk. When it comes to actually doing anything, he can't." Allen announced. Lenalee gasped, and Lavi stiffened. "Now, now, you guys…" Lenalee started hesitantly. Everyone in the room finally caught on that this fight was definitely not normal. "Kanda!" Lavi yelled.

But it was too late. Kanda already unshielded his sword and swung for Allen's neck. Allen caught it with his left hand, and didn't even wince when the sword cut deeply into his flesh. The blood trickled down, and was forming a small puddle on the floor. Everyone in the room gasped, and even Kanda look slightly surprised under all the anger on his face.

Using the momentum, Allen swung his other hand around punched Kanda across the face. By this time the room was dead silent, afraid to make any sudden noises.

"It's too early to be making a racket." Allen hissed. He finally let go on Kanda's sword and brushed past him, making his exit. He didn't look back to see the fury behind him.

Just then Komui rushed in. "What's all the racket?" He asked, slightly out of breath. Then he noticed Allen's hand. "Allen-kun are you bleeding?!" He asked. Komui looked around the cafeteria. Everyone stared at him. Kanda had a look of complete fury, Lavi was shocked, and Lenalee and everyone else looked scared and bewildered. Allen brushed past Komui and hissed, "No." Komui stared after him in stunned silence.

…

Allen turned a sharp corner to the science department. He opened the door without slowing his momentum. Some of the workers noticed him.

"Eh? Allen?" Johnny asked aloud as he moved a box. Allen didn't acknowledge him.

"Allen?" Reever looked up from his work. "Allen, what are you doing?" He asked. He ran up to Allen and kept pace immediately. "Are you heading to the Ark? Where? Why?"

Allen didn't slow his pace, but he did look over at Reever and forced a smile. "I need to check something, I won't be gone long."

"But…what—" Reever started, but it was too late. Allen already half sprinted up the steps and entered the ark without a backwards glance.

…

Lavi was sitting in the library, trying to focus, but failing miserably. All he could think about was this morning. It's been about two hours since the incident with Allen in the cafeteria, and no one knows where he's been. Lavi stiffened when he contemplated the fact that maybe Allen left the Order, but he quickly dispersed that thought. Allen wouldn't do that. He wouldn't, right?

Lavi looked up from his book and shook his head, as if the thoughts would fall out. He quickly went over the whole scene this morning in his head.

He was really surprised that Allen caught Kanda's strike in his hand, and then punched Kanda across the face. It was just so…un-Allen-like. Then Allen left quickly, and Komui barged in, not helping at all.

After Komui got over his stunned silence, he ordered the rest of the remaining people to get back to their business. Kanda stormed out of the cafeteria, and everybody knew better than to follow him. Lenalee went to chat with her brother, looking extremely worried. She mentioned Allen's name a few times. As for Lavi, he ate a quick breakfast and was ordered by Bookman to study the history written down by earlier bookmen.

Only he couldn't focus well. It's been two hours. Bookman hasn't checked up for a while, so…

Lavi threw the book on the table. It's been two hours. That's long enough. Lavi couldn't even believe he waited that long. He got up from his seat and went straight to Allen's room. He pounded on the door. When no one answered, he marched right to Komui's office.

"Where's Allen?" Lavi asked. Komui looked up bewilderedly from his work. When Komui was stressed, he actually did his job.

"I don't know. I assumed he went up to his room, or maybe you knew."

Lavi's stomache churned. Things weren't looking good. He left Komui's office, ignoring the calls of his name. He checked the rest of the order, before he finally reached the science department. _That's it. _Allen is probably in the Ark. Of course. If he really wanted to be alone he'd be where someone wouldn't be able to reach him.

…

Allen sat on the piano bench, hugging his knees to his chest as he stared at the window on the wall. It wasn't anything special, all he saw was his reflection, his true reflection, and the 14th's shadow hanging over him.

He didn't know how long he sat like that, and strangely he never got hungry. Maybe his anger caused him to forget his human needs. Well, however long he was in the room, he cooled off a little. But every so often, when Allen thought he'd finally calmed down, he'd hear the word "riot" in his head, then he'd get on edge all over again, and his breathing would become short, his head would hurt, and his chest would feel constricted.

His breathing finally returned to normal, and the room was quiet. So when he felt someone's presence in the room, he bristled. He cracked his head the tiniest to see Lavi standing in the doorway. He looked back at the window ahead of him.

"How did you get in here?" Allen asked without looking at Lavi. It sounded more like a demand than a simple question. There was a flat note in his voice.

"I don't know." Lavi replied. He noticed that Allen looked really young. Allen was sitting on the piano bench with his knees to his chest looking ahead like a lost child. It saddened Lavi's heart.

When Allen didn't say anything next, Lavi took a seat next to him on the piano bench. Allen recoiled when Lavi accidentally brushed his back. Then they sat in silence.

The two boys sat like that for a very long time. Allen, looking at the window ahead of him, and Lavi leaning back and closing his eyes. They sat like that without moving, except for the movement of theirs chests to breathe.

Finally, Allen broke the silence and said, "Why."

Lavi opened his eyes to look at him. "Why what?"

"Why are you here."

"Because I want to be."

Lavi distinctly heard Allen grit his teeth, and he chuckled silently.

"Why do you want to be here?" Allen asked. There was an odd note in his voice that Lavi couldn't make out.

Lavi sighed. "I want to be here because I'm your friend, and I'm checking up on you. You seem wound up. Tense. That scene in the cafeteria was completely uncalled for. It didn't seem like something you would do."

"Something…I would do." Allen said. He pondered for a moment then he turned around to look at Lavi quickly. "Who am I?" He asked, almost desperately.

Lavi replied calmly, and looked at Allen in the eyes. "Allen Walker. An Exorcist at the Black Order. Student of General Marian Cross. My best friend."

Allen looked at Lavi, searching his face curiously. He turned back around and sat normally, almost leaning over. "Why."

"I can't keep answering incomplete questions Allen. You're going to have to help me out a little."

Allen stopped breathing for a while, and Lavi was just about to stretch out so he could see Allen's face clearly. "Why me?" Allen asked in a small, broken voice.

Lavi's heart ached. "I can't answer that." Lavi sounded almost broken too. "We all suffer in one way or another, but you Allen, seem to suffer the most." Does God hate you? Lavi thought to himself. The question seemed to hang in the air.

"But we will always be here for you, buddy. Through and through. No matter what happens, we will always be here by your side. Lenalee, me, hell even Kanda, we support you. It's the least we can do. Suffering shouldn't be dealt with alone."

"But…I'm slipping…"

Lavi inwardly flinched. He didn't really want to discuss Allen's Noah side. It would be difficult to tell what would happen since Allen has both Innocence and Noah in him. Two opposites could just kill him in the process. Lavi pushed the thought out of his head.

"I know you can't hold out forever, but I'm positive there will be a way. It's all going to work out somehow. I know it." Lavi said a little more confidently than he felt. "Besides, even under all that Noah crap, you'll still be Allen. They're just memories Allen. You'll still be yourself, with just a little extra. Don't think too hard about it. When it happens, it happens, and we will be next to you to deal with it. You won't suffer alone. You're going to come out alive and well."

Lavi finished his speech, surprised to see that he was feeling better himself. He had been thinking long and hard about Allen ever since he found out he was the 14th. Reassuring others helps both people.

It was quiet, and Lavi was beginning to think he might have angered Allen in some way. Allen was trembling next to him, and Lavi wanted to reach out and hug him. Lavi was about to say "don't be scared" when Allen said, "Arigatou Lavi. Thank you. You…you helped me."

Lavi smiled and said, "No problem." At least he tried to before Allen turned around and gave a crashing hug to Lavi. Lavi was surprised, then he laughed and hugged Allen back. He didn't see it, but Allen smiled, feeling better with himself already.

"Now let's get your hand checked. You're getting blood all over my shirt."

**Wow. This story started off a song. It kind of got out of control, but I feel very satisfied as to how it came out. I apologize for the choppiness and maybe even cheesiness. But at least it got it off my chest now. =D**

**GASP! Timcampy didn't show up in the story either! **

**Kanda is such a bastard in this story. I'll have to write some Yullen later. **

**Longest story I ever wrote! Yay! **

**Please Review!**


	3. Broken Pieces

**This story literally came out of no where. I have no idea where it came from. I sat down to write a different DGM fic and this one popped into my head and I had to write it. The only thing I saw was Rhode holding Allen while she whispered how she was going to break him. **

**Looking over it though, I have to say I think I got the idea from the Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children trailer. **

**Anyways, I don't own anything. I've been wanting to write a Rhode/Allen fic. :D**

She sat in the tree, with her legs crossed. Her figure blended into the night if not for her bright golden eyes. They darted around the area not in fear, but she was searching for something, or someone. Upon her face a big grin that lit up the night put the Cheshire cat's smile to shame. In her hands she fiddled with a small gold golem, and it struggled in vain as it tried to flutter away, for it was caught in a game called cat-and-mouse.

A dark figure broke into the center of trees, panting softly. "Timcampy?" He called, with a note of urgency. "Timcampy!"

The girl hopped out of the tree softly, barely making a noise as her feet touched the ground. The only thing that gave her away was fluttering golem in her hands. The figured whirled around and saw the girl immediately.

"Rhode."

"Allen."

In the dim light, Allen narrowed his eyes at the grinning Noah. Her smile widened as she played with Timcampy like a yo-yo. Allen clutched his right hand in a fist, seeing as he was unable to do so with crown clown in the other. "Give Timcampy back." Allen said without hesitation.

Rhode giggled. She found the whole thing funny, almost like two children on the playground, fighting over a toy. "I don't see what you see in this thing." Rhode said as she twirled the golem around her finger. "I find it quite worthless."

"It's all a matter of opinion." Allen replied coolly.

Rhode's bright eyes pierced Allen's. "Yes, and I highly value yours." She held out her hands, caging Timcampy inside. "It would be such a shame if you were to lose your dear toy. It would crush you, wouldn't it?" She said, her voice growing softer but retaining the silkiness in it. She shook her hands violently, shaking Timcampy around. It's poor wings fluttered helplessly. Then without a warning, she let go of the golem, and it shot out to Allen.

Once Timcampy made contact with Allen, the whole scenario changed. Rhode was nowhere to be found, and Allen was in a circus tent, at the center of the stage. A light shone down on him, and he was surrounded by mirrors. All he could see was his reflections, everywhere. Timcampy hovered above him, almost nervously. The poor thing feared for itself and its master.

Allen looked around, desperately trying to look for an escape. There was none. Rhode had taken him to another dimension. "Al-l-en." She called out. Her voiced echoed from everywhere. Allen whirled around, trying to identify her whereabouts. It was hopeless.

Suddenly, he felt two hands on his back, and they slid up to his shoulders. He bristled. Then, Rhode embraced him from behind, giving him a tight hug. She smiled into his back as she felt his heartbeat pick up. This pleased her immensely. There was nothing better than to scare the one you loved.

"You came," She said softly. "Even though you're about to break." Her voice came out barely above a whisper.

Allen couldn't help but go rigid. He was tense. His voice turned hard. "I didn't come for you. I came for Timcampy." And although Rhode couldn't see it, she knew that Allen's eyes were hard and cold.

"Ah," Rhode said as she shook her head. "But you came anyways."

Allen was trembling now. He trembled in anger and in fear. He wasn't afraid of Rhode, he was afraid of himself. The fourteenth inside him, he was afraid he'd lose control at any moment. The barriers were wearing out quickly, and he didn't know how long he had. Would he still be himself as a Noah? Or would the fourteenth take over completely? What would happen to dear Allen?

Rhode stood up on tip-toes and licked Allen's neck, and he shuddered violently. She smiled. Fear tasted delicious. "I will break you." She whispered. Softly, she planted a kiss on his neck and stepped away from him.

"And even when you are broken, I will rip you away from your friends. I will scatter the pieces, but I will keep your heart. You will be so broken, no one will be able to fix you." And Rhode began to laugh, a laugh that sent a chill up Allen's spine. She smiled at him before disappearing into a mirror. And then the scene became disfigured, and Allen was on the floor of the forest, looking up at a concerned Lenalee and Lavi.

"Allen, are you alright?" Lenalee asked worriedly. Lavi looked down at him anxiously, and behind him, Allen could see Kanda looking away. He distinctly heard a 'che'.

Allen sat up at put a hand over his face, recalling the last few moments in the dimension. He shivered softly, and Lavi called "Allen?" hesitantly. Allen looked up a pasted a fake smile on his face. "I'm fine." He said, trying to put as much reassuring notes as he could muster up at the moment. Timcampy fluttered overhead. Despite everything, he was slightly relieved.

But even so, he felt a small piece break off of him.

**Please Please Please Review! Reviews encourage me, and if I don't get any then I will think something is wrong with my story, and become very discouraged. Please hit that button below this! :begs: **


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